My Twitter Is A Day Old And I Already Fucking Hate It

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 5:30 pm

Last week, I was talking to some new acquaintances at a party. Our conversation turned to Twitter, which seems more or less unavoidable lately. I feel as though I’m always having to throw around the phrases “social media,” “shrinking attention span,” and so on. The simple fact that I have the same conversation with so many different people, and so frequently, probably speaks to the exact condition we’re discussing: People on the whole have very little time or energy to delve too deeply into broad, unique topics.  Instead, we all talk to each other about Twitter (for some, the conversation is had on Twitter itself) because it’s easy. MORE »



Stephen Hawking Talks Smack In The Battle Between Science And Religion

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 5:00 pm

Stephen Hawking gave an amazing (albeit very short) interview to ABC’s “World News Tonight” last week. The high points included a cool dismissal of religion’s potential to provide more truthful answers than science. Hawking had this to say: “There is a fundamental difference between religion, which is based on authority, [and] science, which is based on observation and reason. Science will win because it works.” He also provided some insight on how geniuses parent their kids. Now, we both know both sides of this argument can be dismissed as biased, so below, a gauge of the intelligence of Hawking, representing science, and Jerry Falwell, representing religion, on how they raise their children.



Comebacks?, Lists

Golden Girls: Five Elderly Singers Who Deserve The Betty White Treatment

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 3:30 pm

Betty White has become a Golden Girl in more than one sense of the word, which is to say that her recent career relaunch has confirmed her status as America’s most beloved octogenarian. She gets tons of press, she has a new television show, Hot in Cleveland, debuting this month, and she has been quoted as wanting to get down and dirty with Robert Redford. Basically, she’s untouchable. People fall all over themselves to celebrate her lengthy and accomplished acting career, and rightly so. But what about the ancient musicians of the world? Don’t they deserve some recognition, or at least, a few Facebook campaigns?  Below, a list of the elderly songbirds we’d like to see get the Betty White treatment. MORE »


Porn, Shit Going On In The World

Japanese Porn Star Giving WWII Reparations (AKA Blow Jobs) to Chinese Men

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 1:45 pm

Apparently, Japanese adult-film star Anri Suzuki was very affected after writing a college term paper on the Japanese invasion of China during World War II.  So affected, in fact, that she decided to give back the best way she knew how: having sex with Chinese students.  I think I can best sum up her moral decision as “Peace (of Ass) on Earth.” MORE »


Bands, Interviews

Interview: Local Natives on David Byrne, Performing in Barns, and Insane Clown Posse’s “Miracles”

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 12:45 pm

When I met Local Natives before one of their shows at Bowery Ballroom in May, its members were “running on no sleep, fumes, and coffee,” according to Kelcey Ayer, who sings and plays keyboards, percussion, and guitar in the band.  After playing at the Bowery in New York the night before, they had traveled to Philadelphia to perform for radio station XPN and then driven back to New York that night to play yet another Bowery show.  Despite their well-earned exhaustion, they and the opening band, Suckers, seemed to have no trouble impressing the crowd that night, which happened to include a very pensive-looking David Byrne. MORE »



Rest In Peace, Rue McClanahan

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Thursday, June 3rd, 2010 4:05 pm

Everyone knows that annoying breed of girl who will designate corresponding Sex and the City characters to her friends.  “I’m a Carrie, and Mitzi’s a Samantha,” and so on and barf and so forth.  My friends and I never did this.  Instead, in a similarly annoying but slightly more elderly-inspired way, we picked which Golden Girl was most like each of us.  I’m proud to say that my was Blanche Devereaux, played by the late Rue McClanahan. MORE »


Dick of the Week

Dick of the Week: M.I.A.

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Friday, May 28th, 2010 2:35 pm

M.I.A. (or Maya, or /\/\/\Y/\, or 8====D), you dick!  Over the course of the past year or so, M.I.A. has been many things: political pundit, designer of weird, geometric leggings, pregnant, champion against the ginger race — you get the picture.

Recently, she’s done many things in what appears to be part of another personal pursuit — becoming completely fucking obnoxious. MORE »



Track Review: “Shower Curtain” - The Dardys

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 4:05 pm

“Shower Curtain,” the newest single by LES mainstays The Dardys, is now streaming on their MySpace.  It’s a pop song with some serious, quiet charm - as well as the source of one of the best origin stories that I’ve heard recently.  Band member Jimmy Keithly stayed the night at fellow Dardy David Heffernan’s apartment one evening.  Where upon awakening the next morning and getting ready to leave, many would leave a typically polite thank-you note, Keithly left a poem.  It was called - surprise!- “Shower Curtain,” and included the line “You stick to yourself.  I peel you away,” which later became the chorus of this song.  I wish my houseguests would leave me sweet poems that eventually morphed into winning pop songs instead of, uh, unmade beds.  I’m jealous of this band’s fortitude, but it’s hard to hate them when their music is so cool.  Thanks for making me feel so conflicted, assholes.


Shit Going On In The World

Safe Sex, Bro! Ed Hardy Launches Line Of Condoms

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 2:40 pm

Making fun of Ed Hardy bothers me in the same way that skewering hipsters and Juggalos does.  It’s like shooting poorly-dressed fish in a barrel.  I think the brand is actively encouraging the hate, because nothing else could really explain the energy drinks, the exhaustive line of car accessories, and now, the condoms.  We might as well give Christian Audiger what he wants and indulge in what has become the fast-food of mockery, which is to say, thank God we’ll be seeing a lot less orange babies!  Am I right, or am I right?!  LOL!



Facebook CEO Begins To Grasp That Users’ Privacy Is Important To Them

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 12:25 pm

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who to me has always looked like what would happen if Prince Harry and Screech from Saved by the Bell procreated, knows he screwed up.  In a statement that reads much like a letter from a lover who knows he’s in the doghouse, he just wants to make it up to you, baby.  He wants to show you he can change…the privacy settings.  He has some new, easy-to-use ways to get out of sharing all your personal information with corporations.  This time, girl, you’ll actually know whether or not your info is locked up.  Shh, don’t talk.  Just uncheck that box and let’s see where the night takes us. MORE »


Celebrities, News

Adam Ant Sent To Mental Hospital After Continued Insane Ant-ics

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Friday, May 21st, 2010 5:50 pm

500full-adam-antThe original dandy highwayman has been taken into custody at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital after the latest in weird offenses against public decency.  In the past, from what I can remember, he has gotten wasted and threatened people with a fake gun, broken into neighbor’s houses in the buff, and screamed a lot in public, in addition to making some music videos that aren’t exactly the picture of mental health.  Below, a step-by-step analysis of what went wrong in one of them.  This could have been prevented if we only looked at the warning signs, people! MORE »



Arizona Considering Pulling L.A.’s Power? Go Ahead, Make Their Day

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Friday, May 21st, 2010 3:10 pm

0411_B08In response to the Los Angeles City Council’s boycott of all things Arizona, the Arizona Corporation Commission, which controls Arizona’s utilities and power, has flirted with the idea of denying L.A. electricity from Arizona.  Arizona power makes up about 25% of the supply for Los Angeles, so this statement would be a massive one if it actually happened…which it should, in my opinion.  Bring it on and turn it off, Arizona.  Let’s see just how much good it does you, shall we? MORE »


News, Opinion

Duane Reade Corporate-Creeps Its Way Into Williamsburg

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Friday, May 21st, 2010 1:00 pm

reade my lipsWe’ve all witnessed bullying by this point in our lives, although maybe we’ve forgotten what it looks like since our schoolyard days.  Here’s a reminder: Bullies intimidate, threaten, and act aggressively toward people who really don’t deserve it.  This behavior sounds suspiciously like that of Duane Reade, the enormous drugstore chain, as it prepares to open its Bedford Avenue location directly across the street from Kings Pharmacy in Williamsburg.  The company is clearly trying to push out the smaller, locally-owned pharmacy and usurp its customers, and the residents of Williamsburg are none too pleased about it. MORE »



Hooters Girl Told By Employers To Lose Weight

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 3:40 pm

20-year-old Cassie Smith is 5′8″ and 132 pounds.  She’s worked at Hooters for approximately two years, but that might change pretty soon.  The Roseville, Michigan resident made national news by reporting to the media that Hooters demanded that she lose weight or hang up her orange hot shorts. MORE »



What to Wear Steve Madden’s New “Snookie” Shoes With

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 2:30 pm

This new excruciatingly glittery shoe by Steve Madden pays homage to its namesake’s legacy by being as tacky as Snooki herself.  I would recommend wearing these beauties with a classic Snooki outfit: A leopard thong, a short, white miniskirt, and French braids.  That is her signature hairstyle, right?