News

Debrahlee Lorenzana Is A Moron, A Vaguely Sexy Moron

Amy Laviero :: Friday, June 4th, 2010 1:00 pm

No one said it was easy to be homely, but according to Debraalee Lorenzana it’s even more difficult being (vaguely) hot. The now former Citi-bank employee filed a lawsuit through the Manhattan Supreme Court against Citigroup claiming sexual harassment and unlawful termination. According to Lorenzana, she’s just too damn hot for the stiff suits over at Citibank. Despite her efforts, however, it’s unlikely the lawsuit will ever make it to trial thanks to a mandatory-arbitration clause Lorenzana signed upon being hired at Citibank. Womp, womp, womp. MORE »

O’Reilly Jumps Shark with Gay Terrorist Sneer

Andrew Belonsky :: Friday, June 4th, 2010 10:56 am

Bill O’Reilly’s no stranger to controversy: the Fox News man has made millions by inflaming political, social and cultural tensions. His latest stunt – comparing gay people to Al-Qaeda terrorists – thrust him into an entirely new realm of absurdity.

Sheri Davis Believes in Hands-on Teaching

Amy Laviero :: Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 1:30 pm

Davis, a 40-year-old special education teacher from Jamie’s House Charter School in Houston was terminated after she was filmed beating the shit out of a 13-year-old student, right in the middle of class. Initially, the whole thing seems like a joke with kids laughing and cheering, although the violence quickly escalates. Jamie’s House Charter School is an institution for kids with disciplinary problems, although a spokesperson for the school said there is no excuse for Davis’ behavior. The video, which was captured with a cellphone camera, was released after the boy’s mother noticed his battle scars, including a black eye and multiple bruises, and was publicized by Fox News (duh). The only thing more baffling than actual brawl is Davis’ outfit. Click through to marvel at her low slung pants, boxers, and checkered, rude-boy belt. Oh, and be sure to check out the fat girl’s face at the end of the video. MORE »

Mike “Brownie” Brown: Insane or Insanely Right (As In Correct)?

Stephen Blackwell :: Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 6:30 pm

The Robert Gibbs smack down on Fox correspondent Wendell Goler is a joy to watch. Gibbs does that thing where he smiles as he yanks you apart, which is a terrible disciplinary tactic (if your dad is an asshole you’re probably pretty familiar with it), but great to watch if it’s happening to someone else.

On a recent Fox news interview, George W. Bush-era FEMA director Michael “Brownie” Brown held forth that the Obama Administration is misusing the calamitous BP oil spill to it’s political advantage, as the reversal of recent off-shore drilling decisions could be a boon to alternative energies and candidate Obama’s aim of powering 25% of America off solar, wind, and other energy sources “from heaven.” Clearly, using the calamitous BP oil spill to the administration’s political advantage makes perfect sense. So you’d have to be an idiot not to suggest it. MORE »

Hasselbeck Breaks Code, Bullies Fellow Blonde

Shannon Hassett :: Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 1:20 pm

Not that anyone cares about anything said on The View, but if you’re going to hire someone purely for their willingness to say dumb shit (think Fox’s entire news strategy), go big or go home. Which is not to be confused with go blonde or go home, and herein lies the problem.

“Dumb shit” doesn’t actually mean purposely botching facts (though this is a common side effect), it is simply an opinion so far from anything logical that you can’t help but react. At least as far as politics are concerned, you are guaranteed to appear contrary to someone whether you’re relying on facts or not. Elisabeth Hasselbeck seems to believe the same can be said for victims of sexual predators. And well, it can’t. MORE »

Kelsey Grammer & The Right Network: Let The Slander Begin

Nick Nicoludis :: Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 4:00 pm

Major media too liberal for you? Fox News not have enough Obama bashing or staunch right-wing banter? Well, Kelsey Grammer has the solution: Right Network. The website, soon to become TV channel (most likely to be hosted on-demand or on mobile phones) boasts its ‘for the people’ stance, which really means it’s for people who even Dick Cheney would say are taking neo-conservatisim a little too far. The TV channel/website clearly tries to align itself with the sentiments of Tea Partiers across America, and Kelsey Grammer within the promo video (view after the jump) catalogs a confusing and seemingly random list of “things that just aren’t right” according to the “pro-America”, “pro-military” network. MORE »

Fox News Gets Vajazzled

Shannon Hassett :: Monday, April 19th, 2010 1:30 pm

Now I know when you hear “Fox on Sex,” the section of the network news website apparently dedicated to all things naughty, you’re expecting something more akin to Pro-Life America than some botoxed blonde’s confessional on vajazzling. But lo and behold, the website contains a picture of the crystals (and their canvas), and what follows is an explanation on the trend apparently sweeping the nation, or at the very least, Jennifer Love Hewitt. MORE »

Clash Of The Egoists: James Cameron vs. Glenn Beck

Amy Rose Spiegel :: Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 1:55 pm

In “please stop talking” news, Avatar director James Cameron is looking to publicly debate Glenn Beck, whom he recently and less-than-affectionately referred to as “a fucking asshole” and “dangerous.” This aggression may stem from the fact that Beck called Cameron “the anti-Christ” in 2007 in reaction to some documentary Cameron made, The Lost Tomb of Jesus, which was skeptical of the resurrection and other Christian lore.

I’d love for these guys to have it out, but I’m not talking about an appearance by Cameron on Glenn Beck’s idiotic, shlock-and-chalk television show. What would please me most in the world is if these two had a Roman colosseum-style death match…or, failing that, if they both sank on an enormous ocean liner in the middle of the sea, fight or no fight.

Sarah Palin’s Got Jokes… Cue “Applause” Sign

Matt Kiebus :: Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 2:30 pm

Sarah Palin is a jack-of-all-trades, a modern renaissance woman of sorts. What can’t she do? She is a governor, no wait she’s a vice-presidential candidate, a hip FOX News journalist, likely a presidential candidate in 2012, and a stand-up comedian? In an effort to sway the treasured “Jay Leno vote,” Palin did her best impression of a typical Leno monologue last night as a guest on The Tonight Show. It goes without saying she had the audience in stitches. MORE »

Olbermann Invited To Tea Party’s 1st Birthday In Dallas

Adam Kearney :: Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 3:00 pm

Keith Olbermann, MSNBC commentator and host of Countdown With Keith Olbermann, has been challenged by the Dallas chapter of the Tea Party to attend their 1st annual celebration/protest this Saturday, after he called out Tea Party members for racial homogenization in the movement. The grassroots, anti-tax dissidents want to demonstrate their diversity, which they claim is greater than MSNBC’s, but asking Olbermann to attend a rally for a cause he doesn’t believe in seems like a weak attempt to convert him, or just use him for publicity. MORE »

GWAR’s 25th Slay-a-bration Continues at Bonnaroo

Shannon Hassett :: Thursday, February 18th, 2010 1:05 pm

In a press release today transmitted by Oderus Urungus, I was informed that GWAR will be closing out the main stage on Saturday night (June 12th) at this year’s Bonnaroo. The show comes as part of a two-year-long (yep) celebration of the band’s 25th Anniversary, the theme of which has officially been declared “Lust in Space.” Mr. Urungus also noted that he is “looking forward to nostri-raping the entire Dave Matthews Band,” as well as reasserting the band’s mission (while here on Earth): “Our ruthless extermination of all life shall be continued after we have driven the forces of Cardinal Syn (who is an asshole) back into the inky abyss! And as we slay, we celebrate 25 years of debauchery, depravity and entertainment with the world’s foremost authority on all of the above - fucking GWAR!” The band’s European dates after the jump, as well as a preview of what to expect at Bonnaroo (besides a bloodbathed shit-show, obviously). MORE »

Yeah, Obama’s Radical, and The Right Should Be, Too

Andrew Belonsky :: Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 5:20 pm

The political lexicon relies in large part on buzzwords, like “patriot” or “socialist.” And then there’s “radical,” which the right wing applies more tenaciously to President Obama than almost any other term. The most recent usage stems from the word that Sean Hannity will soon publish a new book, Conservative Victory. Not surprisingly, it’s being billed as a guide to defeating Obama’s “radical agenda.” In light of this news, let’s take a moment to look at the myth of radicalism, which consistently misses the mark because every American, including Republicans, needs to be more radical, dude.

Fox’s PAC, News America Holdings, Full of Surprises

Andrew Belonsky :: Thursday, January 14th, 2010 11:30 am

If people were perplexed by news of Sarah Palin’s decision to become a “news analyst,” they were hardly shocked by her choice of television real estate: Fox News. It seems like a perfect political fit, of course, and one that Palin highlighted on the O’Reilly Factor this week when she said she looked forward to presenting “fair and balanced” views while on the air, rather than buying into other network’s “biased journalism.” Cue the collective, all-too-familiar groan: “How can they even claim to be fair and balanced?” And that’s definitely true – on the surface. A deeper look at News Corp’s political action committee, News America Holdings, reveals a more complex network: one that exhibits surprising trends.
MORE »

This Week’s Dick: Rupert Murdoch

Alex Moore :: Friday, November 13th, 2009 1:30 pm

Rupert Murdoch, you dick! I know you were in Australia this week when you said Glenn Beck was right about President Obama being a racist, but we heard you all the way over here.

Not only did you say that Beck was right in commenting that “the president has a deep-seated hatred for white people,” we heard you say: “[Obama] did make a very racist comment about blacks and whites and so on.”

Which comment are you referencing to, dude? Because I remember the president saying stuff like: “We’ve got a tragic history when it comes to race in this country. This country wants to move beyond these kinds of things.” Doesn’t sound much like race baiting to me, you dick.

It really is depressing to see you xenophobic old white guys so petrified that you have to have to cower in a corner and cry “racist” the minute you feel your sacrosanct pasty whiteness may be slightly less valuable than it was a minute ago. And fear you should: Almost 40% of Americans said that Obama’s election was one of the most important milestones in racial progress in the last 100 years. They times, they are ‘a changing, you old codger. Get used to it.