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WWSD? Elucidifying ‘Refudiate’: An Open Letter by Sarah Palin

Elisabeth Dickson :: Monday, July 19th, 2010 5:00 pm

My fellow liberty-loving, equality-respecting, multiple firearm-owning American patriots,

Hi there! Many of you liberal types have expressed disdainment and constervation over my usage of a certain “fake” word. I am referring, of course, to the word “refudiate,” which I used in the following Tweet: “Ground Zero mosque supporters, doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.” Many of you Chomsky-readin’, Lady Gaga-lovin’, cornhole-pokin’ blue staters have used this word as an opportunity to mock me, taunt me, and cast Aspergers on my intelligence. And many of you remain unsatisfied by my attempts to justificate the usage of this word when I later Tweeted that “Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. English is a living language. Got to celebrate it!” MORE »

Palin Tweet Helps Normalize “Obama-as-Hitler” Image

Andrew Belonsky :: Friday, June 25th, 2010 3:20 pm

President Obama’s ideological opponents have a habit of comparing him to Adolf Hitler.

Images and placards portraying Obama as Adolf have become part and parcel of Tea Party protests. However lopsided and offensive the juxtaposition may be, it’s not surprising: Hitler was a living nightmare, and provides a readily accessible emblem against which political enemies can effectively be equated.

The Republicans have thus far been wary of the potentially toxic Hitler imagery. It’s a turnoff, to be sure, and far too inflammatory for official approval. That attitude seems to be waning, for two Republican leaders, Rep. Louie Gohmert and Sarah Palin, this week embraced Thomas Sowell’s article that correlates Obama’s handling of BP’s relief fund with Hitler’s pre-Holocaust actions and chastises the “useful idiots” who allowed both men’s “dictatorial” policies. Don’t these right wing leaders realize that their arguments rely on that same species of idiocy? MORE »

Sarah Palin And The Republican Strategy of “U Lie”

Alex Moore :: Monday, June 21st, 2010 5:00 pm

Sarah Palin Tuesday denied the existence of one Republican philosophy by employing another.

Responding to Rahm Emanuel’s assertion that Joe Barton’s apology to BP over the federal $20 billion bill constituted a Republican philosophy, she tweeted, “u lie” at him, invoking Joe Wilson’s infamous “You lie!” shout at the president during last year’s address to Congress. MORE »

What Would Sarah Do?

Carmel Lobello :: Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 11:45 am

Hi there, I’m Sarah Palin, ex-Governor of the Last Frontier, the great state of Alaska, and also the ex-vice presidential candidate, tapped by John McCain for the United States of America. So many people ask me questions on my FaceBook and Twitter, and I wanted to give an answer to the Real Americans out there, so they know what I would do if I were a President or as a Hockey Mom, as a Hunter or as a Real American.

Like you, I watched President O’s address last night, and like every other American I’ve spoken to today, boy, I was real mad. But instead of arrow slingin’ and deridin’ him like the press is doing, and by the way, how does it feel for you and your family and the way you like to speak now, President O? Anyway, even though I was seein’ red, I thought it would be a braver choice to do somethin’ nice for O this morning by lettin’ him know what I would have done in a chrises like this one, which, as we know, was caused by the “environmentalists” and by your own “administration”, if I were presiding o’er America. MORE »

Sarah Palin’s Breast Implants, I Mean Wonder Bra

Carmel Lobello :: Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 5:15 pm

I hate to spoil the fun on this one, but I think we all know the truth deep down anyway. Sarah Palin did not get breast implants. She’s always been an attractive, curvy woman—everyone was just fooled by those man-repelling firey red shoulder pads. What Sarah Palin did on Sunday is what every forty-something woman who googled “Sarah Palin Breast Implants” today should do. She wore a supportive bra. If you don’t believe me, check out this picture of Palin in college after the jump. MORE »

Palin Fends Off Wilson… With a Fence, Of Course

Shannon Hassett :: Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 5:00 pm

As a former fan of Home Improvement, I’ve always wondered what happened to good old Wilson. Tim Allen’s career has certainly provided little mystery; there are only so many roles available after one grows rotund in that particularly spherical fashion, after all (these clearly being The Santa Clause 3 and a permanent return to voice overs as Buzz in Toy Story… 3). Al Borland appeared in Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch before dropping off the Earth, and JTT will forever remain the growth hormone deficient teen’s crown prince. But what of Wilson, and more importantly, that fence? MORE »

The Case For a B.P. Boycott

Johnny Sanford :: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 6:30 pm

The pink shrimp in the room is covered in oil. More specifically, British Petroleum. It was April 20th, 2010, (37 Days ago) that the explosion on a B.P.-Leased oil rig exploded, killing eleven workers in the Gulf of Mexico. Initial reports of the incident focused mainly on the search and rescue operation, and briefly mentioned that there was a shit-ton of oil pluming into the Gulf’s pristine waters. MORE »

Bristol Palin Follows Her Mother’s Example: Getting Paid

Matt Kiebus :: Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 4:45 pm

Any distinguished colleges or universities still scrambling for a graduation speaker? Well, if you contact my boy Ron Miller from Single Source Speakers I’m sure he could get you a good deal on Bristol Palin – for only $30,000. The 19 year old specializes in conferences, fundraisers, and holiday events. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like Bristol Palin giving a speech on abstinence! Drink up everyone and make some bad decisions!

It’s been well documented that Sarah Palin has profited millions since abandoning her office as Governor of Alaska. It’s just hard to understand why. Lets check out Bristol Palin’s credentials. She has a very famous mother and unfortunately got knocked up at the ripe age of 17. Now people pay her $30,000 to listen to her story? I can think of a lot of better things I would rather do with $30,000. MORE »

Tea Partiers Rail Against Palin on Facebook

Gray Hurlburt :: Friday, May 7th, 2010 4:40 pm

When Sarah Palin returned to Facebook yesterday, her web soapbox, she gave endorsement in the race for a California Senate seat to former CEO of Hewlett-Packard Carly Fiorino over Chuck DeVore, the government-reform darling of the Tea Party Movement. This didn’t sit well with the more radical followers of Palin’s, who even go on to call her and Fiorino RINOs, and the comments got nasty quick: uppercases, italics and elipses, you name it. MORE »

Palin’s Former Pageant Rival Enters Politics

Shannon Hassett :: Thursday, April 29th, 2010 12:00 pm

If yet another completely unqualified Alaska native had to run for office, at least it’s one who’s already gotten a piece of Palin. Democrat Maryline Blackburn, winner of the Miss Alaska crown the year Palin (Sarah Heath at the time) took home second runner-up, has announced that she will be vying for a seat on the Georgia House of Representatives. She is challenging Republican incumbent Rich Golick and is hoping her previous inexperience in politics carries her as far as her former archrival. As gratifying as it would be to see a republican fall at the hands of a democrat with particular resonance for Palin, electing liberals is too critical at this point to rely on unrelated, 26-year-old grudges as platforms, don’t you think?

Less Taxation, More Stimulation for Tea Party

Shannon Hassett :: Tuesday, April 27th, 2010 6:30 pm

On May 12, Sarah Palin will be speaking at the Rosemont Theatre in Chicago, the same city in which the Admiral Theatre also resides. This is relevant because the Admiral will be holding a Palin inspired event of its own that night, with partial proceeds going to the Tea Party Campaign. The Admiral is a gentleman’s club, and it will be hosting a Sarah Palin sexy lookalike contest (titled “Less Taxation, More Stimulation,” obviously) with a $5000 cash prize for the winner. A request has been made to Palin to judge the event, though the club has yet to receive an answer. With a reputation that depends more on the sexy math teacher motif than any sign of intellect, the former Governor really has nothing to lose. If you’ve got the bangs and boobs and distaste for democracy to match, what better way to rack up support?

Sarah Palin Gets Trashed En Route to Stanislaus

Shannon Hassett :: Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 5:00 pm

The former Alaska Governor is scheduled to make an appearance at California State University, Stanislaus, and the events preceding it are already proving more exciting than any possible hopes for her speech. The Cal State Stanislaus Foundation, a private nonprofit organization responsible for bringing Palin to the college, was previously under fire for refusing to release details about her June 25th appearance, namely the speaking fee. And it wasn’t just Californians Aware, state Senator Leland Yee and the Associated Press who were angry (the three were all repeatedly denied public record requests); two Cal State students were fed up with the so-called suspicious activity of their administration and took matters into their own hands. MORE »

Kelsey Grammer & The Right Network: Let The Slander Begin

Nick Nicoludis :: Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 4:00 pm

Major media too liberal for you? Fox News not have enough Obama bashing or staunch right-wing banter? Well, Kelsey Grammer has the solution: Right Network. The website, soon to become TV channel (most likely to be hosted on-demand or on mobile phones) boasts its ‘for the people’ stance, which really means it’s for people who even Dick Cheney would say are taking neo-conservatisim a little too far. The TV channel/website clearly tries to align itself with the sentiments of Tea Partiers across America, and Kelsey Grammer within the promo video (view after the jump) catalogs a confusing and seemingly random list of “things that just aren’t right” according to the “pro-America”, “pro-military” network. MORE »

Fox News Gets Vajazzled

Shannon Hassett :: Monday, April 19th, 2010 1:30 pm

Now I know when you hear “Fox on Sex,” the section of the network news website apparently dedicated to all things naughty, you’re expecting something more akin to Pro-Life America than some botoxed blonde’s confessional on vajazzling. But lo and behold, the website contains a picture of the crystals (and their canvas), and what follows is an explanation on the trend apparently sweeping the nation, or at the very least, Jennifer Love Hewitt. MORE »

Sarah Palin’s New Show is DOA

Shannon Hassett :: Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 5:00 pm

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch women giving birth all day? I haven’t either, which is why my remote control stays a safe distance from TLC at all times. The announcement of its latest show, while shockingly unrelated to all things womb, is still enough to sink any hope of the channel’s redemption, and the advertising world now steadfastly has my back.

Sarah Palin’s Alaska is an eight-part documentary series focusing on the life of the former Governor and her home state. Even with the draw of emmy-award winner Mark Burnett (Survivor and Apprentice) signed on to executive produce, the show is a guaranteed flop. Don’t believe me? MORE »