Jersey Shore 2 Becomes a Reality

Shannon Hassett :: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 5:45 pm

There is a longstanding tradition amongst New Jersey high school seniors that gets kept quiet in an effort to preserve its existence. Rather than your average post-prom rager, us Jerseyans really dig deep, renting out entire seaside motels and thus extending prom night to three glorious days in the process. Even more sacred than the migration itself is the slew of indiscretions that occur, satiating the small school love of gossip until the graduation party circuit can commence. Among the scandal emerges one King or Queen, however, committing a high enough number of poor decisions to earn them a final crowning title: Shore Whore.

It is with this in mind that I inform you of the earth shattering news today that, yes, MTV’s Jersey Shore will more than likely be returning for a second season. I make no claims regarding the show’s intellectual or cultural merits; I have no desire to express my feelings about the image it presents of a place I often frequented in my youth. I share the above high school memento with you simply to evidence that there are still lessons to be learned from the series, and that these characters have a lot of love left to give.

So much, in fact, that they were smart enough to hold out on the network for a serious raise, skyrocketing from a few hundred dollars per episode to a nauseating $10,000 (that could buy like, 800 bottles of gel). With MTV’s ratings in significant decline, the 4.8 million viewer season finale provided the necessary leverage for the cast’s demands, so don’t let those juice head grenade launching antics fool you; these Guidos know exactly what it pays to play the part. This will also hopefully put to bed (smush?) the obnoxiously overdone coverage on the show (please see above refusal to intellectualize Italian Americanism, the carcinogenic hazards of tanning beds, Ronnie’s recent weight gain, etc.). Our website is not excluded from this overdose in Shore lore, so our apologies in that regard. Until next season, then, this is one loyal Snooki supporter signing out.

One Response to “Jersey Shore 2 Becomes a Reality”
  1. Jersey Shore is over, but the mammaries live on… Check out “Jersey Shore (A Love/Hate Song)” at

    Posted by: Bruce January 27th, 2010 at 11:26 pm