News

Marko Jaric: Another Reason Why Life Sometimes Just Ain’t Fair

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, June 4th, 2010 3:30 pm

Our culture is pretty accustomed to professional athletes getting whatever and whomever they want. You don’t even have to be a very good athlete to pull copious amounts of tail. Groupies will bang the last man on the bench, because, hey, they’re famous. But Victoria’s Secret super models are not supposed to slum with the last man of the bench. They are reserved for superstar athletes like Tom Brady and Andy Roddick. I’m cool with that, to the victor go the spoils. But when Marko Jaric gets to come home to Brazilian bombshell Adriana Lima after a rough day of being a mediocre basketball player you’ve got to wonder if God exists. MORE »

Armando Galarraga Should Have Been a Lot Angrier

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, June 4th, 2010 12:30 pm

Everyone in Comerica Park knew Jason Donald was out at first, the fans, players, coaches, even Donald himself. Everyone except first base umpire Jim Joyce, whose eye’s and general lack of judgment failed him miserably Wednesday night. Now the entire world pities Armando Galarraga, and passionately despises Jim Joyce. New York Mag’s Will Leitch wrote about how Galarraga, Joyce, and all other parties directly involved with the situation handled themselves with class and dignity. Yet, the media and fans wanted Joyce tarred and feathered. Granted it was refreshing to see Galarraga handle himself so well, but quite honestly he shouldn’t have, it’s not the American way. MORE »

One Man’s Quest to Be an Esquire Man

Matt Kiebus :: Thursday, June 3rd, 2010 4:00 pm

In their Summer 2010 issue, Esquire devised guidelines for how men are supposed to age. They published a list that details the transitions men make and the transitions they should make between the ages 18 and 59 years old. Since I recently turned 23 I decided to check how poorly I match up with the Esquire ideal, and how I see myself aging in the future. MORE »

Conan Returns Home… For a Couple Nights

Matt Kiebus :: Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010 1:45 pm

America’s funniest ginger not named Carrot Top returned home last night. Conan O’Brien’s Legally Prohibited from Being on Television Tour reached New York City last night, performing the first of two nights at Radio City Music Hall. A mere 200 feet away from NBC headquarters the lanky redhead delighted the crowd with his wacky variety show. Being back in the city that made him famous O’Brien invited some of his famous friends to join in on the fun and Vampire Weekend to play a tune. MORE »

Ice Cube Takes a Break from Building his Family Friendly Figure to Revisit his Roots.

Matt Kiebus :: Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 7:00 pm

Ice Cube used to be one of the top 5 scariest human beings alive. Now, he’s about to star in a family sitcom on TBS based on his film Are We There Yet? When did he fall so far from grace? It’s almost as bad as Chevy Chase’s astronomical fall from Caddyshack to Snow Day. On a recent interview with Jimmy Fallon Cube appeared as a guest to plug his new show and album, I Am The West, coming out in July. After spending so much time developing his acting career with Are We There Yet? and Are We Done Yet? One must ask the question: has Ice Cube gone soft? (I mean I’m not asking it. I’m just hypothetically speaking and still a little scared.) MORE »

12 Things to Throw Down the Guatemala Sinkhole

Matt Kiebus :: Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 5:15 pm

Guatemala City is the world’s most recent victim of an unfortunate natural disaster. But if we’ve learned anything it’s that, from the comforts of our cubicle, we can find some good in the horrific.

So when life gives your underdeveloped city a tropical storm sometimes it luckily makes a super cool sinkhole! What might one do with a sinkhole you ask? Well, we have a couple suggestions for fun stuff to toss in it. MORE »

Coming to Grips with Forever Being Lost

Matt Kiebus :: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 4:30 pm

It’s taken a few days to finally sink in, but after Tuesday night came and went without a bald man turning into a smoke monster or a Scotsman driving his car over people in wheelchairs I came to grips with Lost ending. The two and a half hour finale was vintage Lost – great action sequences, human emotion, a lot of questions, a couple answers, a reunion, and a shit load of rain. MORE »

Google Pays Tribute to Pac-Man Turning 30

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, May 21st, 2010 5:45 pm

Video games have come a long way in the past 30 years. It’s hard to imagine when most popular way to play them was at the arcade. It’s even harder to process the fact that three fourths of a yellow circle is one of the most iconic video game characters in history.To summarize the game, it’s about a big yellow dot that eats smaller dots, while being chased by different colored sort-of dots. Today Pac-Man turns 30-years-old, and he’s still damn hungry.

Pac-Man is a relic to the current generation of XBOX 360 and Wii users, but in it’s simplicity and addictiveness Pac-Man helped lead the way for video games today, and we always should respect our elders. In celebration of Pac-Man Google has created a custom interactive welcome screen that serves as a mini game of Pac-Man. It doubles as a great reminder of how easy it is to find ways to kill time at work.

Lost: Have the Past Six Years Been Worth It?

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, May 21st, 2010 1:45 pm

For the first four seasons of Lost I was a complete hater. The show was too trendy; too many people were gushingly obsessed with it. I had no plans to align myself with the Lost culture. Plus I had an issue with joining the party late. I hate bandwagon fans, and I really didn’t want to become one. But sure enough my foolish pride waned and the summer before my junior year in college I started renting the DVD’s from Blockbuster to see what all the fuss was about. I was instantly sucked in, watching three of four episodes a night; I inhaled Lost like a starving man at a Pizza Hut buffet. MORE »

MacGruber: That’s My Forte

Matt Kiebus :: Thursday, May 20th, 2010 3:30 pm

Story by Matt Kiebus

Photos by Kevin Zacher

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When casting a leading man for a summer blockbuster studios normally stay away from actors who are known for their uncanny ability to play a convincing sex offender. But Will Forte is about to redefine what it means to be Hollywood star in the action-comedy of the summer, MacGruber.

“When you put the wig on and the clothes for some reason you just feel a little different,” said actor Will Forte on a bright day in Santa Monica, California. “And right when you put on the mustache you just feel different. You automatically talk differently from feeling this thing above your upper lip, you just become a different person. I’m a mustache away from being a very realistic looking sex offender.”

If you haven’t noticed, Will Forte is not your typical movie star. MORE »

Oh Snap… Tar Balls Are Attacking Key West!

Matt Kiebus :: Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 5:30 pm

The people of the United States of America get really upset about three things: terrorism, celebrity scandals, and oil spills. All of these terrible problems that deeply affect our way of life. So what do we do to forget about these front page hogging issues? We go on vacation and get away to a tropical beach, and then throw back a few cold ones. Key West is one of those popular vacation destinations, or at least it was. Now it’s under the attack of tar balls (scientific name: tar balls).

The tar ball invasion of Key West beaches is stunning news that has gripped the nation. The Tommy Bahama wearing public has plenty of questions about these mysterious tar balls. Where are they coming from? Is this because the oil spill? Are they dangerous? What is god’s name is a tar ball? Is this terrorism on the home front? MORE »

Bristol Palin Follows Her Mother’s Example: Getting Paid

Matt Kiebus :: Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 4:45 pm

Any distinguished colleges or universities still scrambling for a graduation speaker? Well, if you contact my boy Ron Miller from Single Source Speakers I’m sure he could get you a good deal on Bristol Palin – for only $30,000. The 19 year old specializes in conferences, fundraisers, and holiday events. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like Bristol Palin giving a speech on abstinence! Drink up everyone and make some bad decisions!

It’s been well documented that Sarah Palin has profited millions since abandoning her office as Governor of Alaska. It’s just hard to understand why. Lets check out Bristol Palin’s credentials. She has a very famous mother and unfortunately got knocked up at the ripe age of 17. Now people pay her $30,000 to listen to her story? I can think of a lot of better things I would rather do with $30,000. MORE »

Austin City Limits 2010 Lineup

Matt Kiebus :: Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 2:00 pm

SXSW marks the start of the music season where up-and-coming acts schlep their way into Austin and take over downtown. ACL is when the established bands roll into town and get to have some fun.

Today, the live music capital announced the lineup for the 2010 ACL Festival at Austin’s Zelker Park on October 8-10. Similar to previous years it boasts arguably one of the best festival lineups of the year. Headlined by the Strokes, Muse, Flaming Lips, Vampire Weekend, M.I.A., Phish, and The Eagles, ACL has a little something for everyone. The blue capital of our country’s reddest state can sure throw a party: great music, beer, and BBQ. The 3-day passes for the festival sold out in a mere 14 hours. Single day passes go on sale today. Check out the full lineup after the jump. MORE »

Prince of Persia: All They Need Is a Genie and a Magic Carpet

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, May 14th, 2010 6:30 pm

Like most males who grew up in the 90s my favorite animated Disney movie was Aladdin. There was something about that street rat that charmed princess Jasmine and her tiger using magic lamp that made the turban wearing culture kinda cool. I mean MC Hammer should have taken notes from Aladdin on how to wear balloon pants. Aladdin was a thief from the streets who wished to be a prince. He spent his days with his monkey, Abu, stealing apples and jumping acrobatically from rooftops to escape capture. MORE »

“We Were All Witnesses”: The City of Cleveland Says Goodbye to LeBron James

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, May 14th, 2010 2:30 pm

It sucks to be a Cleveland sports fan right now. Not only are you most likely from Ohio, but also the sports franchises you root for routinely torture you. Last night the Cavaliers underachieved for the second straight year, losing in the Eastern Conference semifinals after finishing the regular season with the best record in the NBA. That sucks.

Now the really bad news, this summer LeBron James, the city’s messiah, is a free agent. James has a very difficult decision to make this summer, either stay with the team that drafted you and finish what you started or move to New York City. In the simplest terms where would you like to play basketball? Cleveland, home of the Rock n’ Roll hall of fame, or New York City, home to just about everything. My guess is that the Cuyahoga River might be back in flames come July. MORE »