Dick of the Week

This Week’s Dick: Bernie Kerik

Brenna Ehrlich :: Friday, November 6th, 2009 5:55 pm

What is it with dudes named Bernie? Do they have the fuck-people-over gene welded into their DNA, ala The Lucifer Principle? Bernie K., for one, became the very first NYPD police commissioner to admit to committing a crime when he owned up to a myriad of truly dickish offenses this week, including taking  a mammoth payoff from a mob-linked contractor and then lying to Bush about it. Granted, lying to Bush demolishes some of his street cred in Dickville-but, still Bernie, you are the reason why the majority of America adheres to the philosophy: “Fuck da police.” You might not be as bad as some other coppers (unless you also tortured suspects with electric shocks and phone book wallops), but due to the fact that you are a dirty, cheating, lying liar-type, you have earned the distinction of being the dick of the week-a title that could very well become your prison nickname as well.